Planning ahead can make all the difference
It’s not easy to talk about your end-of-life wishes before you have to. But it’s one of the most important conversations you’ll ever have with your loved ones. By preplanning your funeral, you can make sure your life is celebrated the way you want, and give your loved ones the peace-of-mind they need when the time comes.
Why Should I Plan Ahead
A friend has experienced the death of someone loved. You want to help, but you are not sure how to go about it. This article will guide you in ways to turn your cares and concerns into positive actions. Peace of Mind Many who have undergone the emotional strain of arranging a funeral within hours of losing a loved one have made the choice to pre-plan their own funeral. Doing so lifts the burden from their loved ones by relieving decision-making pressure at a time of grief and emotional stress. Personal Choice Funeral arrangements are a deeply personal choice. Pre-planning provides you with the time needed to make practical, detailed decisions that reflect your standards, lifestyle, taste and budget. And we assure you and your family that the choices you make will be carried out as planned. Lower Costs When you finalize your plan, we can advise you of the total cost. You do not have to set aside funds for your plan, but doing so protects you against escalating funeral costs. By locking in today’s funeral costs and ensuring that the necessary funds are set aside, you help relieve yourself of unnecessary future worry and your survivors of an unexpected expense.
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Helping a Friend in Grief
A friend has experienced the death of someone loved. You want to help, but you are not sure how to go about it. This article will guide you in ways to turn your cares and concerns into positive actions. How to Really Help Someone in Mourning It’s about not walking away. Granted, you may part company after the funeral but a true ally doesn’t stay away long; a better-than-good ally keeps checking in with the bereaved. Being a friend in need during this time can feel very difficult. Rachael Naomi Remen, M.D, wrote what she considers to be the focus of this grief work: “Grieving allows us to heal, to remember with love rather than pain. It is a sorting process. One by one you let go of things that are gone and you mourn for them. One by one you take hold of the things that have become a part of who you are and build again.” You do that with a model of task-oriented bereavement. The Four Tasks of Mourning James Worden writes that the four things that must be completed in order to adjust to the death of a significant other are: To accept the reality of the loss To process the pain of grief To adjust to a world without the deceased To find an enduring connection with the deceased in the midst of embarking on a new life Those four tasks define the work of grieving. When you choose to become an ally to someone in mourning, it becomes your responsibility to support them in achieving those things within their time frame—not yours. – Worden, James, Grief Counseling & Grief Therapy: A Handbook for the Mental Health Practitioner, 4th Edition, 2009.
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Grieving with Purpose
Grieving with Purpose No one is prepared for grief. The rush of feelings, the thoughts, anxieties, and heartache can take us by surprise and drive us to our knees. Yet, when we choose to harness that power for self-growth, amazing things can happen. Good can come from pain. Sigmund Freud first brought up the concept of grief work in 1917, and today the idea that bereavement is purpose-driven continues. Dr. James Worden chose to see the work of bereavement as task-oriented: To accept the reality of the loss To process the pain of grief To adjust to a world without the deceased To find an enduring connection with the deceased in the midst of embarking on a new life Your current job is to focus your attention on achieving each of those goals. It will not occur in any logical order; each of us is different and the path we walk in the bereavement journey is not a straight one. Dealing with grief is hard work. It takes both courage and hard work to successfully adapt to the loss of a significant person in your life. -Freud, Sigmund. On the History of the Psycho-Analytic Movement Papers on Metaphyschology and Other Works.
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